EK LADKI KO DEKHA TO AISA ‘LAGA’…..!!!!!

It took many of these small yet intense incidents to forge the precocious, prodigious ‘Takla the wise’, who stands before thee. Trust me; many of the truths of life are cradled in those seemingly insignificant aphorisms that we hear regularly. A common taunt that every Mumbai teenager encounters is, “Ek din ladki ke chappal se maar khayega!”. An average, brash, unwise youngster would have taken those words for an insult; however ‘The wise me’ happens to be inured to its effect thanks to one of those ‘small’ incidents that took place in my early pre-teens.
I think I was in 5th standard, and I think there were 2 girls…wait or were there three! Anyway, it doesn’t matter. The lesser they were, the better it would have been for me. The fight had been stirred, thanks to the truckloads of invective that had been exchanged between ‘The then unwise myself’ and one of those girls, over a time period of a few days. We used to travel by the school bus, the roof of which I still hold tantamount to ‘The Bodhi Tree’ under which the supreme light dawned upon me. It was my decision to transcend the verbal virtue of the quarrel, and start off with the physical assault rounds. The sexist in me had for long undermined the physical strength of a woman. Not that I even vaguely resembled my favorite WWF star, but I could still never submit myself to the possibility of being thrashed by a representative of the fairer sex. My doctrines seemed reinforced, when I tasted victory in the first ‘Battle of the bus’.
The much anticipated counter-attack came on the following day. The enemy came to the field with reinforcements, which seemed to violate the terms of our contract. Brutal violence ensued, and when the smoke cleared one would have seen me curled up in a miserable bundle under one of the seats. A sea of faces, studded with wicked and ‘I told you not to…’ smiles adorned my entire (now hazy) field of vision. The insuperable chauvinist had fallen. However, the concluding coda was yet to be presented. I postulate that the girls had been overcome with a fit of remorse or fear of retaliation for the ghastly deed they had just done (But wait till you hear what they presented me with…). They decided to approach the highest court that deals with ‘juvenile cases’- Their Mothers – for anticipatory bail.
The ladies (Enemy + reinforcement’s mother) arrived at the bus stop the next evening. I could do nothing but allow myself to be swept away by the chide, which apparently was for fighting with their daughters. The chauvinist in me was still packing his belongings but was yet to vacate, thus preventing me from enlightening the ladies with the fact that ‘I WAS ALSO BEATEN BY THE GIRLS!’. The issue was thenceforth declared closed. I left the scene, much subdued, much humbled and with a much better opinion of the members of the fairer sex. Those two (or three) females had really brought me down on my knees (In all respects), but strangely my ego did not hurt this time. Probably it was'nt even there (It returned later, after this short vacation). Other trivial consequences of the incident were:

1. I deserted the co-ed sections of the bus and decided that ‘gay was my way’.
2. x + x = 2x, a concept that my math teacher had been striving to explain was suddenly revealed whilst I was nursing my bruises under the bus seat. (Just substitute x = 1girl)